OK, Hallmark....

I don't really think we need a Keepsake ornament for why Daddy had to move out, now do we??

it's snickerable....

how they made the Lawyer nutcracker look like a lesbian.

I can't decide....

Is that Saddam Hussein or Fidel Castro wearing a tux in the claw machine????

Dear Whomever....

Sweetie? Jake STILL can't see that, because you wrote this on the womens bathroom wall.

Dear Golden Corral....

If you're going to go with the marketing move of drawing your lunch offerings on the chalkboard....PLEASE let me show you how to draw balloons properly?

Umm...relief from what?

Caffiene withdrawal?

When I run the world....

...it will be illegal to tow a recreational vehicle on the freeway on Friday morning, while all the rest of us slags are driving to WORK! Ass.

And the award for Most Disturbing Display of Baby Wear....

Goes to Macy's at the Woodlands Mall! *applause*

You know those ad boards you see in the restrooms?

Yeah, this was one in the LADIES room.

Sure was a good idea....

...to put all that wire and barbs and pokey stuff up there in the awning outside of Macy's so that birds couldn't get into it. Yep.