I can hear the oil companies in my mind...

And they're saying "4! 4 dollars!AAHAHAHAHAHA!" like the Count on Sesame Street.

Sneakers.....

Steadily replacing crows.

There's a gas price joke in here somewhere...

Yeah, go ahead and stick an apostrophe in there....

But get real about what the locals call your restaurant.

Instructions for a washing machine....

If you get good at it, you'll be ready to have kids.

OK, Hallmark....

I don't really think we need a Keepsake ornament for why Daddy had to move out, now do we??

it's snickerable....

how they made the Lawyer nutcracker look like a lesbian.

I can't decide....

Is that Saddam Hussein or Fidel Castro wearing a tux in the claw machine????

Dear Whomever....

Sweetie? Jake STILL can't see that, because you wrote this on the womens bathroom wall.

Dear Golden Corral....

If you're going to go with the marketing move of drawing your lunch offerings on the chalkboard....PLEASE let me show you how to draw balloons properly?