OK, Hallmark....

I don't really think we need a Keepsake ornament for why Daddy had to move out, now do we??

it's snickerable....

how they made the Lawyer nutcracker look like a lesbian.

I can't decide....

Is that Saddam Hussein or Fidel Castro wearing a tux in the claw machine????

Dear Whomever....

Sweetie? Jake STILL can't see that, because you wrote this on the womens bathroom wall.

Dear Golden Corral....

If you're going to go with the marketing move of drawing your lunch offerings on the chalkboard....PLEASE let me show you how to draw balloons properly?

Umm...relief from what?

Caffiene withdrawal?

When I run the world....

...it will be illegal to tow a recreational vehicle on the freeway on Friday morning, while all the rest of us slags are driving to WORK! Ass.

And the award for Most Disturbing Display of Baby Wear....

Goes to Macy's at the Woodlands Mall! *applause*

You know those ad boards you see in the restrooms?

Yeah, this was one in the LADIES room.

Sure was a good idea....

...to put all that wire and barbs and pokey stuff up there in the awning outside of Macy's so that birds couldn't get into it. Yep.

Not all corporate types....

...front with a Wall Street Journal. Some unabashedly pass time at the bus stop with their PS3.

I like to take pizza onto the elevator and jack up the diets of people that ride it afterward.

Not that there's anything WRONG with that...

how to....

Make sure your bike doesn't get stolen in downtown Houston even WITHOUT the lock.

Well Duh...

Because we all know that makes stars fall out of their heads.

Tastes like NyQuil...with a plutonium chaser.

Maybe someone in the firm has chronic halitosis.....

Or, perhaps the partners just want us to be able to take a nip in the restroom on those really bad days.

Even Perky Folk Like Myself....

get annoyed when Veronika dots her I with a heart.

Nothing Says Boredom...

Like the summer classic of rearranged plastic lettering on signs. (*I* did not do the rearranging, simply took a pic. Lest you think I'm 12)

Stumped for a Birthday Gift??

Don't overlook the Tonka Redneck set.

New????

Wayfarers? Yeah, not so much.

Screws fall out all the time. The world's an imperfect place.
-John Bender

Call it what you want

It's a fuzzy bear, riding piggy back on a toddler....with a really long tail. But we all know what it really is.... A KID ON A LEASH!

Day 5...

Of the disasterous 23rd floor Ice Machine Outage. :(

Soft Sided Big Rigs....

Making illegal immigrant smuggling safer since 2005.

Found Nemo.....

Apparently he was at a rave party

Huh?

What was the old taste of the peanut butter crackers I ate LAST WEEK????

For sadistic parents at Easter time

Taser? or My burger is ready?

This is the device they gave me at Beck's Prime to alert me that my food was ready. Wasn't sure whether to put it on the table, or hold it to the person at the next tables head for a comedic opportunity.

I can't freaking believe it....

Somebody actually bought the Codwater. (Or stole it)

Overachiever

Secret Service?

No, just a pretentious Sunglass Hut employee.
(I should add for effect that I took this through the window of Macy's...he's not waiting on anyone...just standing there by his little register... arms by his side...in a pair of shades...indoors.)

Life is like a box of chocolates....

So are the streets of downtown Houston, ya never know what you're gonna get.

Characters...

This fine gentleman sits atop a trashcan in a cowboy hat, helpfully directing cars which way to go down the one way street when the light turns green.

Why I love my downtown building....

It's big, black and imposing, like Britney Spears' bodyguard.

Glass, wood, marble and cool lights.

Non conformist doors....which don't usually work properly, but still.

They actually mop the sidewalks outside. Mopping is hot.

Everything is in braille all over the place....except for THIS very important sign.

Who needs a mirror? Check your hair in the black granite wall!

On the right, is sidewalk. On the left is cobblestone.....when people walk on the cobblestone in heels? That makes for comedy, baby.

I worked here for months before realizing the large glass triangle thingys out front were skylights into the tunnel below. dur.

Cool architectural lighting concepts.

Remember when people got tattoos.....

...to be original? This man does. Doesn't get more original than a ring of scampering kitty cats or friendly linked up elephants.

It's MUTHAF*CKIN CAKE TIME!I *heart* Treebeards.

...is what makes 1 cute.

Just stating the obvious....

but hey, if you feel like assaulting any regular person? Have at it.

Me and cowllerina hanging out on a busy day at the office.

Somebody needs a Proofreader......

The real hilarity was that this was the last bottle left.